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Age Is Just A Number
Luce Smith, Features Writer
basket of logs photo by derya
I have a lovely family, and feel very lucky to be close to both my parents and my sister. Close in relationship, not in distance, which improves the former somewhat!

The good things about having an older sister are that you will always get a straight honest response. However, what I wasn’t expecting this weekend when we met up for a birthday gathering, was to be told that I was now….. umm, well, that I had now become……sorry, I can’t even type it. I’m just so shocked and appalled with what she came out and said. Out loud. In public.

She said I was middle aged.

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There. Said it. And breathe………

I haven’t even started life yet if it is meant to start at 40, as so often quoted! How then, did I advance to becoming middle aged, in my sisters opinion? Let me put into context.

We were ending the day in a small country pub, that was a short walk from where we were staying. A live band were playing, so the atmosphere was quite lively, and it was quite busy, but we managed to find space on some sofas by the fire. I got us a bottle of Prosecco (has to be done) and we sat chatting whilst my partner sat watching the band and talking to the locals.

She made a comment about the music being too loud for conversation (which to be honest, I thought was perhaps a bit of an old lady thing to say, but as the kind younger sister, I didn’t say anything). She then said that she didn’t want to be out too late, as she had been up super early to drive up. Fine, I get that. We listened to the band, and an accessory by the fire caught my attention. I turned to my sister, and said “that’s quite a nice log basket, with rope on it”. 10 simple words. 10 words I wish had never come out of my mouth. 10 words never ever to say in front of my sister again.

She burst out into hysterical laughter, clearly very pleased with herself at her latest thought. Once the laughter had toned down into a giggle, she was able to speak. I wish she hadn’t. “Lucy, you’re middle aged”. I nearly had bubbles coming down my nose in shock. I turned to my partner, who hadn’t heard and repeated my sister's statement. I asked her to repeat it as well, in case I had heard wrong (I had had a few glasses of grape juice at this point in the day, so needed to be clear). She giggled and confirmed that she felt I was middle aged.

I don’t think I am, am I? What is middle aged? How do you know when you hit middle age when you have no idea what your full age will be? Impossible! I felt a Google moment coming on, but wanted a change of subject asap, so put a note to self, to Google first thing.

Have you ever googled it? Oh my days……it is suggested that being middle aged, is a time in life when you go from thinking about the future, to thinking of your limitations. Luckily, it also kindly states that in general, it’s for those aged between 45-65yrs old.

I have plenty of time to look forward to really embracing the middle aged spread, and also have a few years of winding my sister up as she enters these Middle Ages! There will no doubt be a middle aged app when my time comes, and I will be able to recognise when middle aged issues get too close to me, and escape them. For example, if I find myself wanting to say, “I used to be able to run for the bus, but I can’t now”. I will add, “as I now have my driverless car and have no use for public transport”. Or, if I find myself trying on wide fitting shoes with no heel and elasticated sides, I will quickly slide across to the heels section, and buy the most inappropriate heels for work I can find. On principal.

I have time now to do lots of research, to ensure that once I am an actually “MA” person, I can be one in style. In any case when I do reach the MA time of life, my darling sister, will be slowly approaching the big 50, where I will be able to get my revenge. Sisters, such sisterly love. Such fun!

Age Is Just A Number, 13th February 2018, 9:42 AM