Luce Smith, Features Writer
Chicken? A whole chicken? Well what did you get one of those for? What else did you get? But what are we going to do with the whole chicken, it's only us? Did you honestly get a whole one or are you teasing me? Oh, I mean, if you want to eat a whole chicken then fine, but it won't keep. What a waste, why didn't you get what I asked you to get? Are you just having a laugh? You know what we said, why couldn't you just do what we agreed? Chicken. Ok, so what are we having with it then...... I think most people on the train are laughing right now, inside, at this bizarre conversation we are being subject to. I wonder if she knows we are all listening, or indeed if she knows she is talking with quite a loud voice!
Sniff sniff........sniff sniff.......sniff sniff......I look round to see who needs a tissue, and identify the culprit. Suit, tie, smart shoes, leather laptop bag. Surely there's room in all that for a handkerchief? I wish I had a packet of paper tissues in my bag to share with him, sniff sniff. Sniff sniff. Sniff sniff. Apart from the sniff, I don't really think he is showing any signs of ill health. No cold, cough, or sneezing, (I'm like the nhs choices symptom tracker....)!
This is beginning to annoy me now. I find myself staring into his back, wishing he would stop sniffing, or blow his nose. Sniff sniff. On looking round, I catch the eye of another commuter, who looks as puzzled as I do! How can one smart looking business man, not notice his sniffing? His annoying sniffing? It would annoy me if I was him, I'd be wanting rid of the sniff! But no, sniff sniff, the sniff continues, sniff sniff, to the end of my journey. Am I getting grumpy? Ok, will work on my tolerance levels this week.
I have been very good at dishing out smiles though, especially on my way in yesterday. It was a busy carriage, with some standing ( I got lucky and got to park my bum), with lots of groups of people. Not so many individual commuters. One lady decided to read her magazine. Great, trains are great places for reading. But not out loud. Especially not, if the magazine being read, is a tacky celebrity magazine. Oh wow, the comments. I bet it's a bit like watching gogglebox. Kind of, only the comments made are from print, not the tv screen. It was like having an audio book playing, but with a supposedly bonus track, to have personal comments from this lady commuter.
'Why has she gone and done that? She's got loads of money coming in, two kids, and is always doing interviews on telly, why would she bother?' 'Have you seen this? She says she's lost two stone, and puts it down to drinking less alcohol. I mean, yeah, she looks slimmer, but if you start drinking again, it's going to pile on again, is she thick or something? Even I know that. Maybe she is trying for another baby, it doesn't say that in this, does it, I bet she is. Ooh, I wonder who the dad is this time'......... So we all got to listen to the magazine, for no extra cost. Bonus?
A bonus, was coming through the station after work, to have a company handing out free pepperoni sticks. Does it work I wonder, as a marketing tool? Do people go home, eat it, then add it to their regular shopping list? I definitely didn't. I felt sorry for the staff member having to do it though, so kindly took one to put in my bag. About 100 yards later, another guy was there throwing out pepperoni slices! It must be sausage day? You never get chicken sausages though do you. Why is this? Answers on a postcard please.....
Chicken Sausages, 13th July 2016, 9:19 AM