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Olympimania
Luce Smith, Features Writer
Extreme Vacuum Cleaning photo by Mats Edenius
Rio!
Rio!
I want Rio and I want one now.
Not one, not two but three hundred medals,
A gold one and a silver one, with bronze thrown in....

There's no escaping it. I've tried. People are talking about it, spending hours watching it, and even braving the odd judgemental comment. It's Olympimania time and actually, since the ridiculous poor effort in football, we are again proud to be Team GB.

It's been a bit of a learning curve for me, as I had no idea that Friday night games club activities were an actual Olympic sport. Who decides whether to grant a sport with an Olympic status in the first place? The Queen? Prime minister? Manager of the Olympic Sports Association (is there one? Just made that up.....). Reason I'm asking, is that I have a request for a new Olympic Sport to start in Tokyo 2020, and if agreed, then a training plan will need to get in place. Table tennis, is an Olympic sport, so I have discovered this year, which is a little odd, as I always think of games club from the 90's, bottles of rola cola and facing the parents when we were a little late home..........

Fencing, is an Olympic sport, with weird technology and digital equipment, which kind of makes it look like some cyber sci-fi game. It's just a bit bizarre. I did it at school, which I am aware makes me sound posh/privileged. This would be worsened if I was to add that there was a croquet lawn and room for a pony, so I shan't mention that just yet. Judo has crept in to be an Olympic Sport, as of when I don't know. But it has, along with kayaking.

Funnily enough, we are doing very well at swimming. Not surprising really is it. I mean, the weather is so awful in this country, that the only thing we can do is go swimming!

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I say that, we also appear to be good at gymnastics, sailing, cycling, pommel horsing, sprinting .....but I still feel there is a sport missing. I mean, golf started off as an Olympic sport, then got dumped. Who was able to make that decision? And who decided it should return? I have questions! I also need to find that decision maker in order to put my request in.

Do you have to write in and they discuss it on a committee? Or is it an interview panel process? Whatever, I think Hoovering should be the next Olympic sport. I would definitely put my name forward to be a Team GB player but also individually too. I already have the equipment and the skill, so I just need to really be able to get sponsored so that I could work full time on my training plan.

It could be a bit of a track and field sport, lounge & garden. I think it would make great watching, a real spectators sport that everyone could identify with. It would be great for all ages too. I noticed watching the show jumping, that it seems to be a sport for the older athlete, which is really encouraging. However, in the Hoovering game, I feel it would be where the 30-40year olds would really excel and prove medal winners. As a country I think we would also fare well, being hardworking house proud citizens.....who don't sit around watching sport.......much.....

I'm not sure who I would want to team up with, as it's not a well known sport yet, but it could be. Don't you think?
Olympimania, 16th August 2016, 8:57 AM