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The Full Monty
Luce Smith, Features Writer
Mmm, hot chocolate photo by Aubrey
My friend hinted at wishing to go to the theatre again, and when it occurred to me her birthday was coming up, I thought I'd have a peak on the Google machine.

I do it the standard traditional way, and type it into the little convenient box, but do wish I had the 'balls' to try the voice recognition method (is it even called that? Ah well, you know what I mean, when you ask Google, "OK Google, what's on at the theatre next weekend?"). I don't even know why it requires balls to do this, but for some reason, I daren't! Am I too old and boring? Set in my way? My boyfriend's Dad uses it all the time, and I'm always really envious, and get very entertained and excited by it!

Back to the search though, and The Full Monty is on, Leeds Grand Theatre, 1st December. Brilliant! I see if my friend's free, get the go ahead, and proceed to book. It's quite tricky booking late, as ticket availability is somewhat limited. I'm not deterred though, find two seats, and get the date in my diary.

I don't think of it again until two days before the show, and I remind myself to drive to work that day, and my friend texts me to say she's looking forward to it. I do look forward to it, as it is a fab film, and great storyline, and a live performance is always better. I know they will leave their hats on, but it will still be a giggle. I wouldn't go to a strip show, totally not my thing, I'm way too, urm, conservative? Is that what I am? Well, whatever you want to call it, I wouldn't wish to be in that type of environment, but this will be clean fun, and a bit of a laugh.

The time soon comes round, and I wait in the foyer, freezing, for my friend to arrive. Watching all the people come into the foyer is a show in itself! Wow. There are females of all types you could imagine. Old ladies, young ladies, ladies who have dressed up to impress, and ladies who have just rolled in after a day at work, dropping the kids off and landed in a rush. Some look like they are about to embark on a big night out, and I feel underdressed. But that's not a new feeling, I know this feeling well! One day, I'll be the one who has spent hours in the make up parlour, and everyone around me will look in awe at me, thinking I've just got out of bed like this........I would be an advert for L'Oreal...move over Cheryl!

Sorry, diverting very well, back to the foyer, and I seem to be left standing for ages. Was I really that early? I check my phone (again), and see I've had a text from her "2 minutes". She finally arrives and we excitedly climb up the very many stairs to the balcony floor. I feel all giggly and excited like a school girl, which is a nice feeling!

The lights go down, and I sit quiet ( yes, that happens sometimes!). The set was amazing. The actors were fantastic, (how good would I be as a theatre critic?!!!) and the little lad was brilliant. It got to half time, and although I wanted ice cream, I was really cold (I was sat near the door, and am a wuss) but none available, so had hot chocolate, which was yum. Sadly, we both wanted one and the poor bar man had to tell us there was only one sachet (great word) left, and because my friend is so wonderful, I got it, and she had to make do with a coke, but got her chocolate hit with a bag of giant buttons, so I didn't feel too guilty, and the hot drink warmed me up a bit! We were able to catch up on a few things, then called through back to our seats. This is it! The second half, where it all happens......

The acting was spot on, really well cast especially the wives, they were so good! The post office queue scene was actually better here, than the film, my face hurt from laughing! Then came the big night for the Sheffield lads, where they had to perform. It said on my tickets, that our seats had "restricted view", however, I'm not sure what view you got from the seats with 100% view, as they didn't leave their hats on.

At all.

There was a lot of smoke being squirted onto the set, but still, we got the full Monty, as promised. No restricted view for us. I didn't know where to look, but found myself screaming like a girl, and clapping loudly. I wasn't alone. The whole theatre were in heaven! This was a brilliant show, and yes, a little rude, but very very real! The actors were superb, venue brilliant, and my night out at the theatre didn't disappoint.
The Full Monty, 12th December 2016, 9:30 AM