Cinders Delivers The Wow Factor!

Just as a well-tailored suit should fit its recipient, so should a panto be suited to the venue at which it plays.

Bradford's Alhambra is a Grade 1 theatre (top of the Christmas tree!) and Cinderella is what I'd call a 'because we can' show.

Not quite sure what a giant, nay massive stage filling spider, dodgem cars and a flying motorbike have to do with the plot, but it was Qdos' way of saying 'because we can.'

Qdos is the panto magnate behind most of the UK's top pantos, and their differentiation - certainly in Bradford - is spectacle and celebrity and, when you're paying between £14 and £27 a ticket, you expect lots of both.

Last night the good folk of Shipley, Pudsey, Tingley and Holmewood - they all got a mention - were not disappointed.

And yet, for all its spectacle, the support of the Oxo lady, Lynda Bellingham and 'Z' lister, Brendan Sheerin (the coach driver in, yes you've guessed it, TV's Coach Trip - for Heaven's sake!), the show would simply not have happened without panto stalwart Billy Pearce as Buttons.

Yes, he's getting a bit long in the tooth for the 'juvenile' lead - this is his 14th panto at Bradford, seven of them consecutive, which means he's probably been at it for two decades! - but he is the consummate professional. Even Billy must have that deja vous feeling, "Hiya kids, I'm Buttons (pause) - yes, I know, I look a bit like Robin Hood, don't I!"

I once saw Billy Pearce introduced on TV as a rising star to later hear him comment something to the effect of 'it's taken me 20 years to become an overnight star!'

But it's that pedigree that makes him so good. Billy works hard, the kids love him and his training on the working men's clubs serves him well: instant one liners - probably the result of having to withstand years of impromptu heckling - and the ability to ad lib and 'fill' at will. "It's freezing isn't it? I've just snapped a dog off a lamppost."

Years ago I perused an Alhambra panto script and it said: 'Billy's ad lib. Allow about 12 minutes.' And that's why the panto never falters under the watchful eye of this linchpin.

We didn't get any sweets in the audience - Brussels has put paid to that because of health and safety concerns (!). Five rogue toilet rolls did however find their way into the stalls, but that's OK, Andrex can't take an eye out!

Interestingly Skype the online 'phone' people were the sponsors of this panto which, again, tells you something. This was a big budget show for the masses: great costumes, props, gags, celebs and, already, a near sellout. Corporates don't get involved unless they're getting plenty of bang for their buck.

But Pearce wouldn't be booked time and again if he wasn't a crowd pleaser. The day he stops packin' 'em in is the day Qdos will wave him a fond farewell with not a tear in their eye. Billy who? The Alhambra panto is not warm and fluffy. It's big, larger than life, there's snow, streamers, water pistols, and your ears know they've been assaulted. It's got all the ingredients of a good panto, except for a baking scene!

And, very cleverly, the actors play to the 'bookers'... the parents! Lots of risqué gags that go right over the kids' heads - 'Jack is useful with his chopper' and 'I'd like to give Cinderella one (pause) - an invitation to the ball.'

The Alhambra has the wow factor and very nearly the X Factor, although we had to settle for a Bradford's Got Talent spoof and, at curtain down, the little girl next to me burst into tears. "What's wrong sweetheart?" asked mum. "I didn't want it to end," she bawled.

It really doesn't matter what I think. Listen to the six year old, the best adjudicator in the house!