Happiness Tip 5
Vivienne Barnes, Happiness Coach
good morning again..this week's Tip
if and when someone says something to you that deeply upsets you..could be a partner, a boss, a friend or a work colleague..you can use this with everyone..
so as I've said..
they say something that you don't like, could be a criticism for example. I suggest always focus upon how their words have made you FEEL, don't get into trap of arguing possibly defensively.
People cannot argue with how you FEEL.
Suggested phrase is 'when you say 'such and such' it makes me feel 'however it makes you feel'.
Similarly if you are a manager or on a committee and someone on the team says or does something outrageous, say 'have you noticed the affect on the team when you say/do that'.
You are getting the person to think for themselves instead of creating hostility...
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Happiness Tip 5, 12th April 2017, 10:15 AM