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Roger Winterbottom
Features Writer
@ketonecop
1:00 AM 1st February 2025
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Old Man Shouts At Cloud

“My administration will set the highest possible bar for aviation safety,” said Donald Trump. “We have to have our smartest people. It doesn’t matter what they look like, how they speak, who they are. It matters. Intellect, talent, the word talent, they have to be talented, naturally talented geniuses.” And indeed, you might have hoped that we could also have a naturally talented genius as the head of the US government but, well, here we are.

Yes, in case you missed it, Trump has gone the full Old Man Shouts At Cloud in the wake of the US’s worst air disaster since 2009. Speaking to the world’s press, with the opportunity to bring the nation together in mourning and empathy, Trump instead chose to launch into a tirade against his latest pet obsession: diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI). It goes without saying that it was yet another fact-free and evidence-free diatribe. As far as rhetorical and oratorical skills are concerned, it wasn’t so much Abe Lincoln as Abe Simpson.

You might previously have had the impression that Trump was all in favour of promoting diversity in the workplace. After all, he has allowed all sorts of diverse characters to be promoted into his cabinet: sociopaths; wife-beaters; fascists. They’re all welcome!

DEI initiatives have also led to more non-whites achieving greater seniority in their jobs. Indeed, we have seen the highest pinnacles of society reached by people of colour, even as high as the presidency itself, which is currently held by someone who is orange.

With one reporter questioning why Trump assumed that the crash was as a result of DEI policies, he responded, “Because I have common sense, OK, and unfortunately, a lot of people don’t.”

Ah yes, common-sense. It’s always nice to hear about that from the man who thought injecting bleach into people’s veins would be a good way to cure Covid. “I’m not a doctor,” he added, somewhat needlessly, when discussing the bleach injections, “But I’m, like, a person that has a good you-know-what.” Yes you are, Donald, yes you are.

One of the arguments for not requiring DEI policies is the self-serving myth that Americans live in a meritocracy where all have the same opportunities to progress. This is surely evident at the top of government with the quality of people Trump appointed: a TV presenter as defence secretary; a vaccine-denier as health secretary. All chosen on merit, of course. No doubt they’re all naturally talented geniuses with, like, good you-know-whats. It’s no more than a coincidence that so many of these people at the top of government turn out to be white, middle-aged men who are mates with Trump.

We can’t complain in the UK though: we have the same ‘meritocracy’ here. Anyone who has had any sort of job can no doubt tell stories of bosses and managers who have exhibited the same levels of ‘talent’ and ‘genius’ as Trump. And politics is the best example of all: it’s truly remarkable how so many of the naturally talented geniuses deemed suitable for elevation to the house of Lords have coincidentally bunged donated wodges of cash to the Conservative and Labour parties.

But we shouldn’t be too cynical. There are many, many other ways of being recognised and achieving honours within the British system, such as: by being David Cameron’s hairdresser; or working for Liz Truss for ten minutes; or being attractive in the presence of Boris Johnson.

But no doubt they are all solely appointed on merit – after all, it’s just common sense, isn’t it?